Real World Dreamer

Here I (sometimes) creatively compose/expose my thoughts, dreams, nightmares, and most of all my Wishful Thinking I'm so fond of contemplating.

Thursday, June 30, 2005

I'm still in One Piece


Just returned home yesterday from Girl's Camp. One woman described it like this:

It's like giving birth. It's painful, but wonderful - and by the time the next year comes around, you've forgotten the pain enough to be willing to do it again.

TRUTH!
It was SO awesome! SO much work, so little sleep, so uncomfortable, SO spiritual, so FUN, so silly, so liberating, so exhausting!!!!
I really want to record the details while it's still fresh in my memory, so please forgive the lengthiness and skip around as you will....

First let me just say how grateful I am to my husband who photographed this wonderful experience with such thought and insight and talent so we can keep the memories fresh! But most especially for putting in his 100% labor and love. He never complained, he entertained the girls and really enjoyed himself, he led the other men into work that needed to get done. What an example he is to me! I was afraid I wouldn't be able to let loose and be 100% silly, I hate to feel stupid in front of him! He never once made me feel self-conscious for being the idiot that I was, (which is a vital thing at Girl's Camp in order for them to let loose, be silly and to have fun)!He was PERFECT for the job and he supported me like no one else could have! I am SO glad he was there - it wouldn't have been the success it was without him. It is times like these that illustrate why I'm absolutely in love with him!

DAY 1:
We'd already packed the sleeping bags and totes, so we just met together at my house. We started off reading our Scriptures, saying a prayer, and handing out Travel snacks. We loaded up and went on our way. We had no trouble finding the place, and we even got there at our scheduled time. We survived the confusion in getting the tents set up, and helped the poor Beehives get set up after we got ours up and they were still struggling. We had sandwiches for lunch and then we went and had our Roll Call with the Stake. We'd line up and hike to the Ampitheatre chanting our Ward Cheer as we went. We were never late to any of our Stake Gatherings!!! What a feat!!! We even got there early enough to sing the Camp Songs! When we got back to camp we were too tired to hike so we just chilled out playing some games. We had a gift wrapped a million times that had a Heart Tag in between each layer - and they had to follow the instructions on each tag that they unwrapped. It was things like: Hug someone you don't know very well, Say everyone's name in the circle, Tell us your first memory, Give all the leader's High-5's, Pat everyone on the head wearing a pony-tail, Tell us of your favorite camping trip, etc. After that we played another circle game: When the game timer went off you got to run to the center, dress up in crazy clothes (a hat, an apron, an oven mitt) and eat goodies out of a bowl with a spoon held in the hand with the mitt on. It was silly, if a little boring. So then we got to play potato baseball. It was a riot hitting the potatoes with a bat and shattering them to pieces! Got a few good photos of that one. We then got dinner going (Dutch oven BBQ Chicken and Cheesy Potatoes) and cleaned up after. We again went to the Ampitheatre (after coloring blue candles on our faces and putting blue on our lips - our ward was assigned to be the Candles, and our color was blue: the Camp Theme was "Light the Torch Within" so all the wards were different sources of light), for Stake Family Home Evening. Had a really neat talk about how lightening struck a man and his boys while camping and all survived except for the dog. While the man was fighting not to die, he was told by the Holy Ghost that because he'd served a mission he was worthy to ask in confidence for his life. He was able to recover and hike out with the kids that evening. For the activity we had Ward Relays: squeezing a cup of orange juice from fresh oranges with their mouths, stringing Fruit Loops onto a string and then tying them on their own neck and then eating it all, chewing a piece of Bubble Gum and blowing it big enough to touch their nose, a treasure hunt (gathering camp items from the audience), 10 boy-style push-ups having to touch your nose into a plate of whip cream, and then 10 girls had to send a string tied to a spoon down their shirts and pants and on to the next girl. It was crazy! When we got back to camp the men had the campfire going (yea!), so we played some more.... The men took the Girls on a Snipe Hunt which they ALL thoroughly enjoyed. Shauna, one of our leaders, dressed up in a crazy 70's polyester dress just to be silly. And then I taught them how to play "This is a Solemn and Serious Occasion". One person says this calling another person by name. That person has to respond, "Yes, I know". And then the whole circle bows with hands held in prayer position saying, "Ho Ho Ho". All the while, no smiling is allowed - if you do, you're out. It was hilarious to see who cracked up and who could keep a straight face. That was a favorite among the girls. We also learned a new "Karate game": one person would send a "karate chop" with a crazy noise to another person and that person could choose to "accept" the invitation by drawing their hands into themselves with a reciprocating noise, or reject it by crossing their arms in front of their chest with a decisive "NO!" The Giver would then have to try again with someone else until it was accepted. Some rather creative languages were expressed! We also made banana boats. It surprised the girls how good a cooked banana can taste with melted choc chips and marshmallows. We got tuckered out and had night-nights and hot chocolate and most of us fell asleep fairly quickly. We had handwarmers to snuggle in with, which really helped. It did rain during the night, but woke up dry for...
DAY 2
Woke up on time, got the girls up without too much hassle - we did have to pull sleeping bags off a few and do back scratches. We had prayers, scriptures, and cereal bars and heading out to the Stake good morning - taking our rain suits with us because of the black, ominous-looking clouds. We then got set up to do our Camp Certification Games. Our ward was in charge of the Fire Cert. We struggled a bit trying to come up with a "game" with lighting fires. They'd split the girls into random groupings, rather than doing it as a ward. And since our Cert was rather short I made them all learn each other's names - it was a last minute thing which got better and better as it went along. It ended with one person saying her name, then all the rest would have to shout it out, my own name included. And then I immediately made them shout, "I love Sister West!!!" while I made some crazy pose for them. Then I'd quiz them on what would catch on fire (like wax really does!) and how to put out a grease fire, etc. I then proceeded to show them how to make "Fire in a Can" with the roll of TP squished into a pint-sized paint can and pouring Rubbing Alcohol into it. It was quite windy so usually it only stayed lit long enough for the 15 minute period, if that. And that also allowed some cool tricks showing that even though maybe it was difficult to see the flame, it would still light another match if it was held up over the can. And then the funnest part. I showed them how to ignite steel wool using 2 D sized batteries held "butt-to-head" in their hand. They were all amazed and thrilled that it didn't hurt, they could do it safely, and it was so easy! It was actually one of the favorite certifications - all of the leaders from the other wards even came by to see what was going on. Part of the fun was the I was so silly and obnoxious with them. Being my Father's Daughter really is beneficial at these times. At one point we did get a short spurt of hail which did hurt if you got smacked in the face with a chunk, but it cleared up quickly. That was another fun thing about the batteries - the rain didn't affect lighting that kind of sparking! After all was done I got nervous that I would have to pack all the stuff back to camp by myself, but all the girls left with me were very willing to help pack it back. Then I thought of fixing lunch and began to stress that I didn't remember to get the fire going for our tin foil lunches - but the other leaders had already thought of it and had it going for us when we got back! The bishop's wife took pity on my tired body and put my lunch together for me and for some other tired bodies. While the cooking was going on we pulled out Mad Gab and starting the silly blabbering - and then the Storm HIT! We had enough time to grab our rain suits out of the tents and put them on, and then it really dumped. Some of the girls came out of their tents hollering that their tents were leaking! AAAA!!! So we jumped to it and starting brushing the slush (it was a mix of rain and hail, but not really snow) off of the tents and we pulled out one huge tarp to cover one of the tents that seemed to be getting it the worst. We had some trenches dug out fairly quickly and we waited it out. Joy (our YW Pres) was a GREAT help during this time - she totally busted her tail-end making sure pegs were staked well and all the tents weren't leaking, etc. She was a life-saver as I kind of floundered wondering "What do we do?" She just did it. We were scheduled to do stake skits and the girls really had to convinced that they still needed to go despite the weather. By the time we got the last girls herded out, the weather had cleared up. The skits were funny because the girls all had to use the same props and had to all put the same random words into their "production". I was glad I didn't have to do that one! We all headed back to camp - and I don't remember what we did while were waiting for the Stake to come and have us make our bracelets. I think we just recouped from the storm and relaxed a little in our own ways just enjoying each other's company. After we made our bracelets, the leaders conspired together and put on some Silly Skits for the Girlst. We had one where we had 2 "midgets" and one with the extra flexible legs. These were where you had one person behind the other, being the arms of the midgets and the legs of the "flexible" person. The girls were rolling with laughter at the lipstick going all over Midget Gaylene's face (thanks to Shauna), Lesa's legs wouldn't stay down (thanks to Joy), and Shellie's magical arms helped my midget brush my teeth (and chin and eyeball)! Next we did the chin faces doing a lip-sync. We'd painted eyeballs and noses upside down on our chins, then covered our faced from the nose up with handkerchiefs. Laying our heads over the edge of the table we turned the music on to perform. They thought we were done after that, but then we threw one more at them right before dinner prayer - we had to do our Gopher Girl song with the Terrible Teeth. ("We are the gopher girls, We alway gopher guys. They never gopher us - We always wonder why?") We didn't laugh as hard this year as we did last year. But still - it was worth the silliness of it all. We then had taco salad (a day early because we'd forgotten the Spaghetti Sauce for the Spaghetti) and ran out of meat before all of the other ward members that were still coming (that were working on the Stake Level) arrived. So creative minds somehow managed to scrounge up some more meat and stretched it further using some left-over potatoes. I tasted it and couldn't tell at all! I was quite impressed with the leader's ingenuity! Aah! I remember one of the pre-dinner activities! We had to find sticks that we could use for our Camp Eclairs we were going to have. That's why Joy and I missed out on the meat! But we were able to scrounge the left-overs from of the girls whose eyes were bigger than their tummies. (You do some things camping that you would never do otherwise - like eating leftovers from a non-relative because you're starving from working your tail off!) It really turned out well. After dinner was cleaned up, we had to prank a few of the other Wards. Shauna (our craziest leader), had a "farting song" (excuse the crude word, please!) on a CD - so we snuck the boom box over behind one of the other camper's tent and turned it on while the rest of came around complaining about their smell! It worked as planned. >;-) We got spotted by our next victims, so we just told them we had a special dance for them. So we posed, turned the "music" on, and went at it - hamming it up all the way! It was quite a scene! Then on our way back, another ward was coming toward us and we realized we'd meet each other at the latrines. So Shauna had to step into one and turn on the Tune while we hollered at the door asking if she was okay. We just got some weird looks as they passed by...no one stopped. Wonder why? We got back and made our eclairs and the girls asked if we could have this for a Camp Tradition - a little messy, but well enjoyed! I enjoyed squirting some leftover pudding into some open "beaks", and one girl made mine for me while I handled the squirting, (I didn't want to clean up any more mess than I had to, so I took control of that potential). After the fun we rounded up and headed out for the Special Fireside that was prepared for us. It was a spectacular production using our theme song, "Child of Light" and helped the girls realize that their testimonies and turning to Heavenly Father will help them withstand peer pressure - and also sharing their testimonies will strengthen others around them. We proceeded back to our own campfire to have our own testimony meeting. We pulled out blue candles with blue plates to catch the drippings As each person would stand to bear their testimony, they lit their candle off of the last person that shared theirs. It was freezing cold, and took over 2 hours - but it was well worth it! There was a very sweet Spirit there and it was almost a sad thing to bring to a close (it would've been harder had it not been so COLD!!!). Shellie (my assistant Camp Director) helped us end our meeting by having us all link arms together and singing "We can be together forever someday" like you do in Michael McLain's production of "The Forgotten Carols". We all hit the sack and there was only a little bit of giggling going on. Shauna had to go back and Shellie went with her since she was trying to fight off an ear infection that almost stopped her from going to camp at all. Some of us had a very difficult time sleeping that night due to the coldness, but it was a beautiful sunny morning on
DAY 3!
Some of the girls really struggled to wake up! Back scratches didn't work as well, so they got serenaded with a wake-up song and some even got the special Sister West Steamroller! We got some groans, but no real complaints. How can you when everyone is smiling and your waker-upper has such a great smile on her face?!!! Our cooking girls scraggled out and made us wonderful pancakes, eggs, and bacon (and had our scriptures and prayer) - and we rushed out for our last Stake Roll Call. We were the 2nd troop there! Had more songs and a short farewell, then headed back to pack. We took a break to grab a few snacks and get the girls out for their "Solo Time". They got a packet with Spiritual Stories, individualized letters, and paper & envelope to write themselves a letter about their testimonies and about their camp experiences. They had to turn their envelopes over to me after so that we can mail them back to the girls next year. We then had sandwiches for lunch and gave out the infamous Camp Awards. (This is what the leaders did during Solo time - the men got to have some quiet time too. Quite nice!) We had lots of laughs and enjoyed our final activity. We then finished packing while Disney Tunes rang from the Boom Box (and I didn't tell them to turn it off) - and cleaned up the site before our final photo shots. Our ward was the last to leave, but we were very close to schedule (only 15 minutes late). We had a wonderful time. Back at home, the skies were grey with smoke from all of the wildfires close by and it was quite hot compared to the mountains! We got the trailers unpacked and then we all headed home.
What a glorious experience to take a shower in running hot water and to rest our tired bodies on nice beds with air conditioning!!!! I only wish I could've had one more day off work to finish recouperating - but I am not complaining!
It was worth it! And I am SO glad that I can turn the job over to someone else now! I was surprised at how many people thought we were so organized! It was all just a matter of being aware of what the schedule was, what was needed to accomplish that, and then delegating it all. You plan for the worst, hope for the best, and then go to it! I realized that being a leader in the Church is different than being a leader in the World. It's not "Lonely at the Top", because being a leader in the church is not being at the "Top". You have much support. You don't have to "fire" anyone, you get to just love them. If they don't do what you want, you can just be frustrated and hopefully work it out - and you don't have to carry it any further than that. God can take care of that part for us. I truly was never on my own, left to try to figure it all out by myself. When I was at a loss, another person stepped up to the plate and took care of the problem. It helped me realize how much I love the Gospel Structure, the Spirit God has given us to lead and direct us so we can attend to others' needs, and how wonderful it is to serve and be served. Heavenly Father really has it "Together", he truly is the Master Planner, Doer, and Lover of all of us.
What an intense AWE-inspiring experience being Camp Director has been!
And I'm alive and in one piece after it all!
I sigh a happy sigh!

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

The Meanest Mom in the World

I think I'm up for that award today. But I think my kids are rather spoiled and it's not pleasing to me. I term spoiled as "expecting perks" and "lack of gratitude". The hardest thing about parenting (at least for me, so far) is Discipline! I hate having the kids mad at me - and sometimes I can see how it really appears to be unfair. I believe I depend on my anger to enforce discipline - it's harder to do it because it's for their own good and I can see their side of it. However, I can't allow them to spit in each other's faces claiming, "well, he did it!", "no, I didn't", "it was an accident!" They are sometimes just downright rude to each other! And the anger towards me for calling them on it. Sheesh! And the back talk I get, too. I deserve some of the blame for it, since I argue right back or don't give consequences for it regularly. Well, I guess starting now at 11&12 is better than later! Especially no matter how much I don't like to do it. Just take away their favorite privileges when they either talk back, or treat each other rudely. They've just gotta learn! And they won't if I don't teach. *sigh* Parenting. [And I'm only at the beginning of the Really Fun part, I know!!]

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Momentous Occasion

I am the mother of a 12 yr old!!! Crazy! It's wonderful to see him start maturing (OK so he only has 2 inches to go before he catches up to me, has paws the size of a catcher's mitt, his feet are only 1/2 size smaller than his dad's, his voice is reaching its octave depths, and he needs to shave his mustache!!!! AAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!) - I love his good moments! I told him I hoped he got all the poop out while he was 11. I think I can only handle about 1 yr of those puckered brows and prune lips per kid. And since his li'l bro gets to be 11 this week, he needs to be over it. He's been pretty good about that. Quit his bottle at age 1 when I told him he he was big enough that he didn't need it, hit Terrible Two's at 1 and got over it, starting walking right before li'l bro was born. An early starter! Good thing I didn't hold him back a year at school either - being one of the youngest kids doesn't seem to be making a difference for him right now. Good thing. I have seen a spike in the maturity level the past few months too . It's nice to see him helping out so much - he even came out and helped me unload groceries the other day without me asking at all! That was impressive. I love his good moods! It's also been a great thing to have other mothers come up to me and tell me how polite and nice he is and that they're glad their boys have picked him for a friend. Proud Momma. In my mind it's little things like these that does make him worthy to be a Priesthood Holder. I have high hopes and expectations for this kid! I know he can DO IT! It is a Momentous Occasion.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Agree?

You're not a conformist if you're living up to your core values and not just doing things to make other people think certain things about you.

What think ye about being a conformist?

Boogers!

Not doin' too well on those goals! Been keepin' 'em in mind - but lettin' the day run away with me....

Phsshhh.

I begin again.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Life Defining Moments

I got invited to a workshop tonight that I can't go to - but the Topic really peaked my interest.

Can you briefly describe a "Life Defining Moment" (when, where, who) and how it has impacted your life? Started me thinking.... Well, Can you? I thought I might just list "titles" and then maybe later I can fill in stories.

(in no particular order):
- Overhearing my dad tell my mom that I have a hard time expressing myself verbally.

- Deciding that my chosen career was not conducive to being a mother, so I chose to be a mother, and delay the career.

- Realizing I want to be classy, old lady - like the older women I admire. So I need to change my dress standard.

- Understanding what my role in life is, pertaining to my husband.

I'll have to think if there's more....
And then fill in with the stories.

Friday, June 10, 2005

QUICK update!

The Social turned out great! Not everyone showed up so there was enough food. The wind died down and the sun braved the clouds. I actually had to thank everyone for coming to send them home because they had enough fun they were willing to stay for more!

I am getting a new calling. 2nd Counselor in the Young Women's Presidency.
Self talk: Don't get "puffed up and proud"! Pats on the back aren't necessary because it's the Service that counts, not the position.... I can easily see myself getting carried away by the position and forgetting what's really important - not that too many people would notice, but I would know, St would know, God would know.
And self wondering: How come I felt that being Camp Director was so much of a bigger deal and got so worked up about that and for this, I'm even forgetting to mention it? More of a challenge? Lack of experience and I don't know what I'm getting myself into? Closer back into my comfort zone?

I'm happy about it. My first stint in being in a Presidency. I hope I can be humble.
Therefore, Goals:
Read Daily in Scriptures
Pray Regularly: Morning and Bedtime, along with the usual meals and family. Pray for Charity.

Fini.

Invigorated by Madeleine L'Engle etc.

In response to a note from Ric regarding this interview I'd read earlier and shared with her:

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/4926262/

That interview does remind me of Ber, too! That's why I wanted you guys to read it! You can feel how deep her faith is by reading her stuff - (I'm going to find more in the library) and that's stimulating to me.... She's got a very strong personality - very invigorating to "listen" to her. So my problem in my house is my husband so wants us to just fill our hearts and minds with everything Gospel oriented. He doesn't enjoy reading Novels, so he has a really hard time comprehending that they can be worth-while, especially Fantasy and Sci-Fi. (And, yes - that's what the kids and & I really enjoy...) It is a source of frustration for him. I think I could probably eventually get him to read The Wrinkle books though. He eventually came around with the Screwtape Letters, (after he'd told me that it was a baa-aad book, but then heard it being quoted in conferance by some General Authorities). I know that it's easy to get side-tracked away from the Gospel! I also think that not being exposed to anything else is to isolate yourself and leaves yourself open to be a lop-sided personality. I worry that too much of only 1 genre (in anything in life) also can lead to being being, do I dare say "bitgoted"? Some Exposure with a good Foundation is to creat a good balance. (Keep in mind the difference between exposure and experimenting!) I think that's a good reason why none of us kids truly rebelled. We had enough exposure to see the reality and be able to make our own choices without being forced into obedience. I have difficulty explaining this for some reason to him - I get too distracted to easily and can't carry a train of thought for longer than 30 seconds, maybe? I write much better than I talk....

Ya, so hence the Novels rather than Notes. Verbose she be - and unrepentant for it.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

I shut my eyes so that I can Endure

I've been sleeping for a little while lately - sometimes my own personal venting can drive me crazy and I was already at the point where I didn't want to dig any deeper into it. It's the endurance phase. And it's paid off! I'm going to include a copy of an e-mail I sent to a friend to explain what's been going on a little.

>>Guess what!!???Life is good.Endurance pays off. Something clicked for the Boy.... Tuesday he pulled me into a hug and told me Thank you for doing so much and he loved me. He's ba-ack! It's probably a combination of being reminded that he's got a soon-to-be-12-yr-old needed to be ordained and because he found me a Spin Class that works for my schedule (at the rec center where the kids can go and play, too) - and we might even be able to take it together (we did on Monday and it was great!!!). He went Tues night to see the Bish and he's been relaxed since then. SO GOOD!! He's also working hard to put a presentation together for the Chief next week - he's in the hiring pool for a Sergeant's position and things are looking pretty good for that. It's good to see his strengths recognized and used!

>>I get to see the Bish for some reason tonight or sometime soon.... New Calling?? Already??? The YW Pres is moving, so things are being reorganized. But I forgot I'm also in charge of a Credit Union social tonight for all of the CU's in our locale. Should be fun to play games, eat food, and play together. I also am being awarded a $500 scholarship to apply towards business education. I'm going to try to swing it so that I can do this during business hours. Don't know how that'll work - but it'll be nice to stuff my brain with good, useful info!

>>I wish we could talk some more! I ended up being rounded up by some friends I'd forgotten I'd made plans with that night! They took me shopping and we went to dinner! It's so nice to have girlfriends to do that with! Got a really cute skirt that is very feminine, as opposed to my regular business attire. I'm just in the mood to be a girl lately! I would even buy a pink pair of sandals if I found some I liked good enough and that didn't cost too much and comfortable! :) I even now own 3 pink shirts! Amazing, huh??

>>Still haven't re-addressed the issue with St about going to OR in Aug... I'm enjoying the peace and smile on his face too much right now. That's the bad thing about when things are good - I don't want to bring up issues that may dampen that. That's my non-confrontational side coming out.....

>>Camp stuff is going well and good - I think the girls are getting excited. I actually am. Most especially for the desserts! We made ice cream in baggies this week. So fun! I had to teach the boys how to do it, too! Tastes like Wendy's Frosties!

-- The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in Him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth, and with my song I will praise Him.Ps 28:27

So that's it in a nutshell.
Oh, hey! Want to hear a funny dream? This goes to show some of the insecurity and anger I've been supressing in the last few weeks.
I dreamt St brought home another wife (and yes, I do know her in the real-world and she is married w/ a kid. And she's very nice and clean). I didn't actually see her, but she'd moved my coffee table to be in front of the couch and left Pepsi cans all over it, had her coffee pot messing up the counter - and I realized she was moving into MY territory! I was getting REALLY angry! And then I notice she'd place all of the kids' toys outside lined up against the fence (which is not real, and the toys were too young for mine, but I think they were supposed to be my kids' toys!). So in my anger I opened the door and there was an Hispanic lady walking past. I just knew my husband had hired her to do the housekeeping and that angered me further - so I lost it and starting attacking her; pulling her hair and yelling, maybe even trying to throw in a punch or two. Somehow she finally got through to me that she just lived in an apt close by and she was just coming home from the store.... Uh....
I woke up.
Darn it! Hate being wrong like that! Hate other people horning in on my territory!!! Grrr....Ruff Ruff! Now I laugh at it! I'm glad I'm the only woman of the house - and that it's pretty clean!

So now I'm just hoping it stays cloudy with no rain for our Social tonight!!! After working so hard to get our numbers from 20 to 50!!! Oh! Gee! I just now realized one of our game props needs to be completed!!!

K! Got it done. Might not have enough food. Might rain. Sounds fun to me!