Real World Dreamer

Here I (sometimes) creatively compose/expose my thoughts, dreams, nightmares, and most of all my Wishful Thinking I'm so fond of contemplating.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Creepy Crawlers

I was sitting on a stool and watched the hugest, creepiest spider crawl right onto my grandma's foot! It's body was like an ant's, well maybe more like a tarantula's. It was furry, although yellow, its body about 3 inches long! Each leg was also about 3 inches long, about the thickness of a licorice rope, and furry and black! Grandma, of course, flicked it off and it went running under my stool. I lost sight of it and heard a gasp, "Lisa!!" and FELT it race up under my shirt on my back!!!

I sat up gasping for air in a panic... I HATE dreams like that! I think I just may have passed out out of sheer panic had that been real!

I know my brain put it all together because I was thinking of Grandma earlier in the evening as well as having seen a wolf spider escape into a box while I was cleaning. Usually I'm okay with out of sight, out of mind. Guess I wasn't as okay on this one as I normally am.

I didn't laugh this time - well, sort of...

Many of you are very aware of my heartless tendency to laugh at other's misfortunates when it comes to spills and tumbles, or minor things like firecrackers in toilets, etc.

So this instance was one my college roomies would be proud of me. Yes, two of them were on the receiving end of my hysterical laughter. The one after her fabulous swan dive into the side of a house when she tripped over the step. It was the most graceful trip I have witnessed still to this day! The poor girl suffered a concussion and broken toe and I had the gall to laugh so hard I literally fell to the ground with tears streaming out my eyes! My other poor sweet friend was beaned in the head - by MY shoe flipping heel over toe the length of the hall after I just wanted to kick it off my foot after standing in them for so long during our concert. Yes, it was like a Nat'l Lampoon's take on James Bond action shot! The spiked heel hit her perfectly square in the back of the head! Couldn't have been a more perfectly timed action shot than that!

And J even experienced that awful feeling of, "I'm hurting! And you're laughing??!!" when he got the pony bead stuck so far up his nostril (aged 3) that I had to take him to the emergency room to have it removed. (It was a Sunday and we didn't have any Instacares, yet). Yes, he got spurts of giggles and the like on the drive over. The kid's so cute though, that even despite his pain he had to let out a little laugh every once in a while, too, at the image of himself going into the Emergency Room all because a bead was stuck up his nose!

So, yes, Alex, a fellow cast member did not get the full brunt of my heartless guffaws. Poor guy experienced many others' though. Maybe it is the mothering instinct in me at my more mature age that allowed me respite from my typical response in such as case as his. I think of the full cast, we were only missing 4 people of the 25 or so. The kid is left alone on stage - so everyone is watching... he proceeds to make his exit - this time the "rock" prop is in his pathway so he steps on it, rather than around it. Not a problem there. But his toe catches and he proceeds to do a most acrobatic tumble and body roll! I think it was probably slow mo for all of us! Just imagine the dead silence as the room focuses on Alex landing on his head, his body following the force of momentum with his legs following suit, straight up over the rest of himself. He came to rest on his back, and probably about 15 people had immediately converged upon him. He quickly sat up reassuring everyone he was okay. As the guy next to me was spewing his gut wrenching peals of laughter, I actually only giggled intermittently in between the absolute horror I could feel on my face - because my eyes had been focused on his poor neck being stretched out disproportionately to the natural length as his legs arced over his trunk. I was giggling because I also saw his eyes wide open in quite a cartoon-like manner! AND I only allowed myself the giggling after he sat up and said he was okay.

When I saw him at the gym later on that evening I did recommend that he get a good massage, while at the same time prompting him to show up to rehearsal wearing a neck brace... just for the laugh! I'm just waiting for my moment of glory of doing something equally clutzatic! I'll probably do mine during the performance though, since that's my typical forte! We shall just have to wait and see! Hopefully when I jump out a window my skirt won't catch on antyhing or I don't slip off the rocks when I go climbing them, etc. We shall see, wont' we! In just one month's time we will be putting on our last 2 productions! Sigh!

Friday, October 03, 2008

"Mom? D'ya wanna hear a stupid thing I did?"

Cell phone rings - it's the kids calling from home.

"Mom? D'ya wanna hear a stupid thing I did?"
Uh, yeah! Sure!
I mean really stupid.
Alright....
And I won't get in trouble?
Uhh.... depends on what it was...?
I - uh - put a firecracker in the toilet..

Mother bursts out in great guffaws!!! After Mother regains control of the laughter
What did it do? WHY did you do that? You don't DO that!!!
I know that now, Mom! I just heard someone say it worked if the toilet was plugged up.
Oh dear... what did it do?
It's okay, Mom. It just splashed water every where.
Did you clean it up?
It was just the water, Mom. There wasn't any crap in it luckily!
That's really good! Did you clean it up?
Yeah...
With cleaner???
Well, no....
You need to use cleaner - germs!!!
Okay, Mom.

Mom gets home
It does smell a little smokey in here. Did you get the mess cleaned up?
Yeah... But I puked.
Why? The smell get to ya?
I guess so. But now it smells like crap AND fireworks AND puke!
So did you clean that up too?
Yeah...
With cleaner?
Umm....


Mom took some pity on the kid and let him go to bed. The kid cleaned up the mess with no arguments or complaints. Penance paid and lesson learned. We hope.

I will Not fall apart!

Everything's going nicely. I've been able to put life's problems in proper perspective (say that fast 5 times!) and go about doing what I can. So this morning's been a bill payer day and happy as a clam that the budget's stretching and bending well enough for now. And then the last bill. Hmm... a little higher than expected. I do my calculations first, and come to the conclusion of what the suspected error is. I make the phone call. Yes, I am being billed for the mistake that someone else made on my account. And there's no proof - just my word... the right key wasn't hit. The funny thing was how I even asked, So is there anything else I need to do? Are you sure it's taken care of? Yes, yes. Go back 2 days later. I realize she didn't take care of the problem and it's past the deadline, so I am the one that needs to look for the proof that she did/didn't do it. Can't find the paper that I folded and stashed as I was running, but I was assured that I would not be charged for the mistake. My exchange would be a straight across deal - no worries. So today I find that I was told wrong - it is not a straight across exchange. I owe for something for absolutely nothing! No product, no credit, no value = nada = zip. Luckily - this time I was told that there is a dispute form (which I had not informed about earlier on the last time I was trying to get the problem fixed). I will dispute. I will hope for mercy. I will suck my tears back in and realize that $112 hurt's, but it's not life threatening. I've seen worse. I still have a chance. Deep breath! S'okay. I made it! The tears didn't get past the ducts. Funny how the "minor" things can bring out the tears, where some major things just make the voice wobble (ya know the kind where you can hear that the tears are going to come - but you have ample time to suck it up, so you don't really cry? Yeah, that.)
All better. At least emotionally. At this point.