"Mom? D'ya wanna hear a stupid thing I did?"

Cell phone rings - it's the kids calling from home.

"Mom? D'ya wanna hear a stupid thing I did?"
Uh, yeah! Sure!
I mean really stupid.
Alright....
And I won't get in trouble?
Uhh.... depends on what it was...?
I - uh - put a firecracker in the toilet..

Mother bursts out in great guffaws!!! After Mother regains control of the laughter
What did it do? WHY did you do that? You don't DO that!!!
I know that now, Mom! I just heard someone say it worked if the toilet was plugged up.
Oh dear... what did it do?
It's okay, Mom. It just splashed water every where.
Did you clean it up?
It was just the water, Mom. There wasn't any crap in it luckily!
That's really good! Did you clean it up?
Yeah...
With cleaner???
Well, no....
You need to use cleaner - germs!!!
Okay, Mom.

Mom gets home
It does smell a little smokey in here. Did you get the mess cleaned up?
Yeah... But I puked.
Why? The smell get to ya?
I guess so. But now it smells like crap AND fireworks AND puke!
So did you clean that up too?
Yeah...
With cleaner?
Umm....


Mom took some pity on the kid and let him go to bed. The kid cleaned up the mess with no arguments or complaints. Penance paid and lesson learned. We hope.