Lessons in Etiquette.... for Grown Ups!

Hmmm.... Maybe not all adults are as mature as we expect them to be.
Maybe concert etiquette should go on the cover of the program instead of on the back page. I find it sad that grown ups should have to be taught at all! They should have learned it back in their school days! (Especially when the adults look like they may have been in high school in the 50's! I KNOW kids were taught more respect then, more so than in my 70's and 80's!)

So I think I just may be one of those directors that throws a hissy fit for unneccessary rudeness. I guess I know that I need to do what I can - set up procedures from the beginning - to prevent it from happening. Not cool to embarrass everyone with a temper tantrum!

Kids noise (necessary rudeness) can't be helped. It can be minimized.
Adult unnecessary noise (talking and wrappers)-during a recorded concert especially! - should not have to be tolerated by anyone!

Preventative measures then:
Teach the students proper behavior and send notes home to families.
Have ushers that only allow people in during breaks between numbers and/or
Post expectations on concert doors
(That would be cheaper than inserts in programs)
It would be nice to have ushers with signs to shush noisy people - and kick them out if they can't deal with it.

Boy! I sound grumpy! Is it really that bad? Or is it just me?
I do seem to be near many adults who forget to whisper during a concert! I am amazed! And here in retirement city I wonder if it's just hearing aid issues, but.... People! If you have hearing problems, bring a pen and paper and write notes!!!!

I learned after the concert last night that the rude adults had snuck alcohol into the family event. There's no sense in making a fuss with people like that, so glad I controlled myself. I really did want to write a big SHUT UP! sign to them. I probably would have had I the paper and pen! Glad I didn't. I only like making a scene in appropriate circumstances...not when I'm not the one who should be the center of attention. The greater good has to win out, despite my own irritations. Recording of the concert should not include an irritated audience member berating the other rude audience members! So I did my best to ignore after the initial silent Sh'shd communication didn't work. But I learned I still do have my temper!!!

So I'm glad to have discovered that before I do have a choir in which I'm directing and I have to deal with it. I might end up throwing a stick and impaling poor gabby idiots!

(And I think I've probably been guilty of the infraction myself, so I ought to really be a little nicer with a bit more patience...)

It's all in the education. Making rules and then sticking to em.

My First Musical Inspirational Influence

Lyric Montgomery was an inspiration to me when I was young. Born to David and Lynn Montgomery, the oldest of 6 kids, Lyric was a dedicated music student and role model for me. She allowed me, albeit sometimes unwillingly, to be the little tag-along sister in the majority of her musical endeavors. My first musical memory of her was trying to teach me, a kindergartener, how to play the recorder. Her patience was short as I tried clumsily to wrap my fingers onto the appropriate holes. I still have my first recorder and play around with Baroque arrangements on it. Then when she entered sixth grade, she chose to play the French Horn having been advised it was the hardest instrument to play. She played with the Murray Symphony beginning at age 14. She brought home tapes of the King’s Singers that we listened to going to sleep, (I still love listening to them!). She introduced me to The Nylons, Mannheim Steamroller, and the Blue Devils. She let me tag along to follow after her and the Lagoon Show Band.

But one of the most pivotal moments in my life was when I went to her first All-State Band performance when I was in middle school. It was there that I heard a large-scale choir, live, at the Tabernacle in Salt Lake City, Utah. I enjoyed the band, but I was entranced by the choir! I immediately was in love! I determined right then and there that somehow I was going to be in that choir! I had no idea how to go about it, but that was for me! I joined the 8th grade choir where the teacher was a little bit crazy and overboard, but he had a driving passion for music and introduced us to madrigals and other challenging music that captured my heart. I did make it into the All-State Choir, my first year being the sole representative from my high school. By my senior year, the majority of my high school choir attended it.

The rest is history of where I am today. I’m not sure where I would have discovered my passion for choral music if I had not been allowed to be the pesky little sister. I will always be grateful to my older sister for her example of hard work, inspirational talent, and a passion for music outside of the mainstream radio genres popular with our peers. My world was opened and changed forever due to her direct influence.

Which Kind of Parent Are You?

In my Ed Psych class we got to talking about parenting styles.... I got wondering what the kids would say about us? Someday I may get brave enough to ask them.
The Drill Sergeant:
Controls, makes all the decisions, and is the jude jusy and executioner.
The Helicopter:
Handles the controls, makes the decisions, rewards those that don't create problems, and rescues.
The Consultant:
Kid thinks for himself, makes decisions & lives with the consequences, kids problems are opportunities for growth.
Are you thinking "oh dear!" to yourself like I am? I know which one we all wanna be like and dream of being! Don't wanna be authoritarian or permissive (although, I know I am!). I know I'm not rejecting or neglecting!
So how do you awesome parents do it? How do be the Authoritative parent (not the authoritarian)? I would like to be able to figure out how to give high warmth and high control? How do keep on top of the lil bodies with clear limits, enforce the rules, and expect mature behavior? I think I do okay in the democracy side of it. I'm just not good at dishing out those consequences!
Just thinkin....

En Vogue

I get to be the Diva on the stage! Mink stole, broad brimmed hat, pointy shoes, sun glasses, ruby red lips!! I'm planning it all out! I oughtta have red fingernails, French Twist would be perfect if I could figure out how to do it, loong fake lashes! And I'm not the lead, so I don't have as many lines to memorize - but I get to talk a-with an Italian accent! Hoo! So much a-fun! Maria Merrelli in Lend Me A Tenor, non-musical version. We're doing some minor editing to make it St George Community Acceptable. It's written as a strong PG-13, and now it's maybe even a PG. Funny show. Through the college. What else would you like to know? I'll try to post pic's when we get into costume and make-up.

It Worked!

I didn't intend to let the assignment actually make me think! In my Educational Psychology class we had to do a research paper, picking out from a number of topics. I found one that sounded interesting and had less than 25 pages, so Punishment ended up being my topic.
And right near the end of writing the paper, all of the sudden the ideas starting hitting me. What kind of punishment do our children get in school these days? The paddle is now no longer politically correct with all of the sue happy parents. (I'll admit, I really don't want my kids being spanked by a dictatorial Mr **** even though I think my kids deserve a nice paddling every once in a while).
So now we have Time Out on various levels: study hall, restitution, crisis centers, and detention.
So does Time Out really work for the kids who are doing poorly in school? Mmm... I would hazard to say "No, not really". Is the kid learning to take accountability? Is the kid learning how to cope with the stressors of life?
Okay, for someone like me or my friends, yeah it does work. I'd be embarrassed to go, humiliated. But I know a lot of kids that wear it like a badge of honor, they have no qualms with telling their peers that they just got out of detention. They only get bugged when the grown-ups start in with the lectures of how they "shouldn't, because...." or the annoying concern: "we miss you, we care about you!"
So how do we help these kids that are society's misfits, who hate authority, thumb their noses at the rules?
The article I read (I'll have to reference it when I get it back) was a study on the kids that frequently got kicked out of class who were put in a Behavioral Management Class. They were tested before and after the training period. In the class, they used all of the different learning techniques to learn to recognize their problems and to see how they affect others. They role played scenarios with their peers. The study, although needing a bit more work in order to be conclusive, saw that all of the students attendance improved on the days that the training class was held and all of the students experienced an increase in their empathy levels.
While I was writing, the implications of this type of learning environment starting hitting me. So if the students developed a bond in that class enough to where they actually went to class that day - why not have it everyday?? If empathy increased, I'm thinking that these kids are beginning to realize that what they do really does affect others - that they matter! If kids felt like they matter, don't they usually stop acting out in negative disruptive ways? I could take it so far as to believe that graduation rates would go up and the need for alternative schools and detention centers could even decrease. And with that you could even hazard a theory that jail populatons would decrease if this was a widespread and common practice in the school districts.
What would it take to get something like this kind of program going? Use a contract teacher who is interested and send them to the training workshop and have this as a class as opposed to just putting them in a study hall. Have them start actively addressing the issues that got them there in the first place. Learn to take accountability. Help them figure out why they do those kinds of things. Help them recognize what sets them off. And then train them with the coping methods to figure out how to manage the triggers. When kids are learning that there is a positive way to deal with the things that they don't like they will be able to deal with real life so much the better!
Maybe I'm a dreamer, maybe I'm a Pollyanna, but I really don't think just removing the kid from the class and giving them busy work is going to really solve their problems. And those are the kids that need it the most. Those are the kids that are skating down the big hill without any brakes. Pretty scary.
This is actually a cause I wouldn't mind becoming involved in. This is a solution that could solve many societal issues in the long run. Hmmm..... Maybe a nitch I could fill if doing music full time is not an option. (And yes, music is incorporated into the training program, too, so that is a plus!)
Possibilities.
Guess I got tricked into actually thinking, and even dreaming. And I'm smiling.

Aargh! A Whiner of a Day... Don't read this if you're sick of the Whine!

Why am I SOO emotional today?? Why does someone else's joy in beauty make me want to cry? Why do I want to just pound on my obnoxious teenager? Why am I experiencing the gammut of emotions from being so furious that I'm shaking, to feeling the sweet peace of the Spirit, to just being weepy and feeling all "Woe is me?" All the while, logically I'm thinking, these things aren't really a big deal?

Must be PMSing during the last few weeks of school!
(It's just usually it doesn't hit me this hard, and not for as long as it's been!)

I think I need a vacation! AWAY!!

2008 Goals

So in keeping with Amber's blog.... I'll do the reverse goals!
THE THINGS I ACCOMPLISHED IN 2008 (and would be crossed off if I knew how to do it!)
(Not in any particular order)
- Look at myself in the mirror straight on and have that honest assessment.
- Close my eyes and plug my nose and JUMP! - despite all the fears and what others might think of me
- Discover being laid off from your career can be the best thing that ever happened
- Remember that I LOVE being on stage: Be in the Operetta I've always loved & Be a LEADING role (and remember ALL of my lines!) (should've added remember all my entrances too!!!)
- Start singing again
- Start working on accomplishing my dream goals
- Make new friends in ways I could never expect - and learn I'm an example in ways I never would have dreamed for myself
- On track for learning to Re-Freakin-LAX when it comes to temperamental teenagers
- Love myself for being exactly ME


And it's crazy, but for the first time in my life I am EXCITED to set goals for the New Year! I had lots of them listed by Dec 30th! I never do stuff like that early!!
Some of those goals include:
2009
- Organize and perform in a 3 DIVAS program with two other girls whom I love and want to blend talents with!
- Memorize lots of music stuff; increase my repertoire
- Finally get my Associates Degree this Spring!!!!!!!! YES YES YES!!!!!!!!
- Get A's in all of my classes despite having 18 credits worth this Spring!
- Get my Education classes completed this year
- Pass the Praxis Exam (so I can be ready to student teach)
- Have 6 numbers completely and totally memorized and comfortable so I can slam it out for the NATs competition in the Spring!
- Have my Senior Recital mapped out and ready to go
- to go the gym regularly (my brain needs every ounce of strength I can add to it!)
- Eat more healthily
- Start cooking again - meals would be nice to have
- Keep my house cleaned
- Help kids with homework
- Be organized

And there's more... but that's enough for now.
As always - to those that read this, know that I love you! And maybe one of these years I'll start sending Birthday and Christmas cards!!! I always do think of you and your families..... I am just a complete slacker in letting you know it!

So I toast my Sparling Water to you all and wish for you a most wonderful and stimulating 2009!!

I blow kisses to you and throw my arms wide to give you BIG HUGE bear hugs!!!