Real World Dreamer

Here I (sometimes) creatively compose/expose my thoughts, dreams, nightmares, and most of all my Wishful Thinking I'm so fond of contemplating.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Hurry Up and Wait!!!

Ever get that feeling that you raced to be somehwere, with the death fear of being late? And once you arrive, circumstances are that -sigh- now you get to wait for who knows how long!!!

That's my life right now! Just in generalities I can say that I've been looking forward to making progress in my life... I've taken that first uncomfortable step and have such strong screaming WAIT!!!!!s that I am/did. But instead of better and more clear cut, things are gettier muddier and muckier within the holding pattern. So I'm feeling it's time to take that next uncomfortable step... And I guess I am the dreamer that this life can be a "happily ever after" and you can make everybody happy - at least be appeased. So, no, life is not easy and sometimes not understandable, but....I think we just need to keep trying to be/do the best we can.

Men are that they might have joy. Joy comes in many different aspects and ways... I just know that my joy comes when I know I am right with God, and am doing the best I can with what I've got. I love the Gospel. I can live with people not being pleased with me if I am pleasing God, even if it's hard.

I am just grateful to all of you who read this blog that love me. I feel your love and support even when I've been non-communicative for a bit...I love you guys!

Friday, May 16, 2008

Creative Thunk

So I'm feeling the bug - but thinking of all of the reasons why not: too late at night, not being quite good enough or having the tools to be as good as I want, being too lazy, etc. etc.

And what is it that I would like to do?
Hmmm....
write poetry/lyrics (too lazy to think deeply enough)
Paint my face (hmmm.... 'cause I don't have the stuff with me right now)
Design or Make costumes (Not enough energy/time for that)
Read my Fantasy Novel (Hey! I'm writing instead! Being social!)
Listen to music (just wanna share it with someone that appreciates it as much as me)
Eat (okay - well, that's not quite creative - but it tastes good!)
Model (gotta have a photographer!)
Photoshop (a little overwhelmed with doing the self tutorial/time)


I'm noticing the gym is not listed here. K. Gotta get back into the groove. Feel better when I do. I'm draggin. I feel like a baby that's got its days and nights backwards! My 8:00 p.m. "nap" didn't help yesterday. Woke up dazed and confused. TV on, fully clothed, trying to figure out what the heck I'm doing. Then very awake until 4 am. Then wake up a few more times at 6:30 am, then 7:00, the 8:50. Woops! Not cool when work starts at 9! Only 5 min's late. And then I forgot I was closing at work. I'm a mess. Happy. But boy - I gotta find the groove, man!

There is the thunk! With a grin on my face!

Espasianato de Musica



So I keep forgetting and then keep getting reminded of my passion....Music. Can you believe I'd forget I have it? There are stretches of time I WON'T listen to music on my own - it takes up time I don't have....I get sucked into it - want it - forget the world because of it. And then I go for a stretch of gulping it down like a glass of cold water on a hot day! Can't get enough....

I've been so fortunate these last two weeks to get a couple of glass fulls! Discovery of new artists and reminiscing with the old! My friend had a house party with a friend coming over to play a gig...he does country - he was the banjo player in Walk the Line (even though he really plays guitar, not the banjo). He brought 2 other musician friends. YEA! Oh who is he? Larry Bagby - you can find him easily on google. K. I'll stay focused on him for a minute. Yeah - so I listened to Country. I gotta say! I think I love pretty much any and all live music! It stirs the blood. So Justine Bennett sang with him - really really liked how well she blended in with him. I got hooked, though, when they told their story of how they met. She jumped up on stage and sang with him, uninvited, at a concert of his, and they let her stay because she was so good. Can I tell you I have fantasized about doing that to someone someday?!? So I was fascinated by her bravery and questioned her like crazy how she got up the guts to do it. Awesome!!!

And the other friend - new discovery for me, and now I'm a huge fan! I'm really kicking myself because I allowed myself to get way too busy to sit down and listen while he was playing! Cary Judd "opened the show"...showing up at the right time, while Larry was an hour and a half late. Cary does more folk music, than country. Definitely my style!!! And a hugely talented guy! Played all his own stuff - recorded tracks and such along with his guitar and harmonica. But a good portion of my reason for being a fan is his lyrics - really creative, yet understandable and clear lyrics. Yeah, he writes 'em. So I got his CD - and of course his autograph! - then googled and found he had another album on itunes, which I had to buy too. Been listening to that over and over. That ice cold glass of water I was talking about. And I wasn't paying close enough attention when he was live here! That's when I say to myself "I suck!"

And THEN!!!! I was so flipping excited to see an ad that The Nylons were coming here to little tiny St G!!!! "Who the heck are they?" you ask. One of those odd groups that Lyric introduced me to that I fell in love with back in the day. I listened to their album over and over and over again. Danced and dreamed dreams to this album - fell in love with the constellation Orion because of their song, "The Stars are Ours". I have never gotten tired of looking at Orion over the years. Probably becuase he's the only constellation I can find besides the Big Dipper! But anyway! They came and I got to see them last night!!! They've been described as "Rock Apella" - a capella rock, even though itunes calls them Easy Listening. I was in heaven singing all of those songs with them last night. Probably a very obnoxious and annoying person to sit next to. The older gentleman next to me didn't complain, though - luckily! Their opening group was T Minus 5 - a UT group of guys that do rock apella. Very enjoyable. I did get their CD too.

And so I sigh. I think half the reason why I like my hip-hop gym class (which, I AM a big dork in, but I like it too much to care!!) is the music. I usually don't find the stuff on my own.... Like he played a song that was a hip version of Sting's Legal Alien. Had to go ask who it was - Black Eyed Peas. Then Gwen Stefani's number where she does the yodeling song from The Sound of Music! How awesome is that??? To get the Lonely Goatherder on mainstream radio?!! Yodeling? I love it!!!!

I promised myself that I will be in a performing group someday! I like doing solo, but it's 'cause I'm lazy. Too much drama and work to get others involved and you have to coordinate schedules and personalities. But I gotta tell ya, I get a greater high when I get to perform with others. It is the biggest high when all of you are going full out and you're just in synch with each other. It's incredible!!!! I don't think I've ever experienced a greater high than being in All-State Choir! Kids from all over the State intensely focused on the conductor - all with a desire to be there. And to know you're just a tiny part of the whole - but the whole in which you're a part of is like a live entity in itself. Weaving, ebbing and flowing, moving according to the conductor's hands - discovery, beauty, glory!

As to what kind of music? I have a passion for Baroque and I love the madrigals.... And I really really like folk music. And I like this rock apella stuff. And And And.
I don't know! Just whatever I can!!!! I would love to take lessons on how to sing Jazz, Celtic, Rock, ummm..... I'd like to learn how to yodel. I'd even like to learn how to do the country twang - but I like the vocal twists like the Cranberries have. Umm....I oughtta go ahead and learn how to belt while I'm at it - that's Broadway style. And here again I sigh. I'm just getting older and older. By the time I get to do all this stuff, I'm just gonna be a grey haired granny. A little past my prime they'd say in my "reviews". That's the crappy part. But then I really don't care. I don't care to get famous at all. It's just the "Doing It" that gets me pumped up! And so you've gotta be good enough that people want you enough so that you can have a reason to keep doing it. That's the performer's bug. So I don't know. I just wanna learn. Can I tell you how much I would love to be the female version of Josh Groban? I'd just LOVE to sing with him!!!!! Wouldn't that be CRAZY????? I think that's one of the reasons why I like his stuff so much! I've got that big operatic voice, too - it's just what kind of stuff do you do with that?!!! Josh Groban stuff! But I gotta tell ya! It's so dang hard to sing a Tenor's song in female range! Too high or too low - the switch between the ranges isn't so hot in the female range. Sara Brightman's the only one I know who can comfortably carry that off! Man! I idolize that woman's talent!!! Pop, opera, and Broadway (even though I'm not the hugest Broadway lover...gasp!!! I know shocking! Broadway just doesn't grip me as much as rock and opera. Odd, I know. I'd just rather be up on stage for Broadway than to sit and listen to it.)

K. So I really oughtta go to bed - those after work naps are a killer at bedtime... and then you pay for it during the day. So lucky you! You get another update without 3 months going by since the last one!

So I'm gonna dream while I work and slave and run run run.... One of these days! I will - I will do something one of these days....

Friday, May 09, 2008

The Removal of the Grill


So I heard of a waitress referring to braces as a "Grill" - and that's just what has stuck with me since I've heard it! I do feel a little fried and grilled in the teeth area!

And the good news is that they are OFF!!! Here is a portion of what I wrote to a fellow Griller in my Glorious news of having them removed & the retainer epilogue!

Did I tell you about how the actually break off the porcelain brackets?? They said they were made to break apart. The glue is left on the tooth and then they sand it off! They molded my upper teeth right after that, then worked on fitting and applying the lower permanent retainer before popping of the metal brackets. The pressure of the removal was definetly not any worse than the tightening of the wires - I was quite relieved! By the time they finished the lower portion of my face, they had the upper retainer made! It looks almost just like those teeth whitening trays! But it's a harder plastic and Boy! is it a tight fit!! Holy Cow, Bat Man! That thing will surely stop my teeth from falling out, let alone moving a fraction of a millimeter! That things is TIGHT! To get it off I have to reach back with both fingers and start prying them off from the back and work my way forward pulling it down...and then it pops off the front. I feel kind of like a jam jar where the lid struggles to get popped off! But I really really that style compared with the pallete-wire format! The only thing difficult talking with the tray is the "sh" sound! (No, I haven't practiced any potty words yet with it in! Just shushing for practice....necessary to keep kids quiet in church (even though it really doesn't work!). My "s"s are a little llithpy, but not bad enough to be really noticeable. And you can hardly see them when they're on, so it's great for work! I have to wear them 1/2 the day and all night for the next 6 weeks at least. Permission granted to not wear it at work. However, I realize that the more time they're off, the more the teeth relax and don't want it back on! I'd prefer to wear them longer stretches of a time than to go through that awful discomort of having to force it on again!

And I gotta say I do love my orthodontist! He is a perfectionist and takes pride in his patients smiles - good walking advertisments for sure!! So he actually furthered the process and put a composite on my right front tooth and a few of my lower teeth to cover up the chips. (almost like lumineers!). WOW!! I really felt like I was getting special treatment! So that's why I got the purple light again!!!

It was so funny - I'm sure I looked like a dork with a grin on my face while they were chipping the brackets off! Couldn't help the excitement! I didn't even have that level of excitement for getting my driver's license or for any my birthdays!!!


And I do keep getting excited every time I see I have naked teeth!! Yesterday as I washed my hands in the bathroom I caught a glimpse of them and it hit me again! WOW! They actually feel BIG to me now! And I actually did feel nostalgic about the way my two front teeth crossed a little bit.... I never did mind that. It was kind of part of who I was! And now that's gone! A little weird to miss imperfection - but hey! I'm not complaining about straight white pearls!!!

WaHoo!!!!!!!!

And to back track and make sure things are completely out of order? My first moments with them off were great. But it wasn't really weird until I ate! And then I had carrots! It was incredible! And I don't have to scrub and pick after each eating! YEA!!!! And then! It hit me again as I got the opportunity to BRUSH them without having any hindrance! More dancing!!!! Lisa was a happy girl! Lisa is STILL a happy girl! Huge grins keep comin out!!! Life is good!