Real World Dreamer

Here I (sometimes) creatively compose/expose my thoughts, dreams, nightmares, and most of all my Wishful Thinking I'm so fond of contemplating.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

A Response!! Am I REAL now?

I feel connected to the world at large now that I've had a response! Wow! And I got going so much in the thinking that I figured my response to the response might as well be a new Post! I'm not sure how to manipulate this deal well enough to show it how I'd really like to, but that's all right. This will work.

Anonymous said...
What do you think about blogs or blog surfing, blog posting in the absence od real human relationships? Creating all these ideals or thought forums but no real life connections, because you can't see or really interact with others. That idea of being voyers or seeing into someone's life without really knowing them. The increaseing isolation and loss of community that is becoming, in my view, American Life.


I say....
I think you're right. It's making connections without risk. It's much easier, isn't it? Is that true "connection" though? I wonder if a person could truly feel fulfilled with only cyber relationships? That's rather sad, isn't it? Yes - community way of life is becoming a ghost town: how many kids on bikes in the street do you see now? How many neighbors sit on the front porch now and stop to chat with each other? I'm guilty of the "drive-by and waive" relationship with most of my neighbors. Can't even remember some of their names. It makes me sad that I'm always running hither and thither to this and that. When do we stop to breath? In Yoga? (It has to be connected to a higher purpose, such as getting physically fit?)More gadgets coming into fruition faster and faster - a 10 yr old computer is as ancient as a dinosaur. Smaller and faster. Needing more income to keep up with the pace - work more - drop kids off at day-care so we can work - rush to get home-work done - rush dinner - rush to go to bed - rush to wake up and get ready for the day - work more to pay the bills for a home that we're rarely there to enjoy - gotta go to the gym to work out so we don't get fat because we're sitting in the office all day and too busy too cook and pack lunch so we have to eat fast food and we have to work overtime so that we can pay for that. It all seems wrong somehow. Only 2 weeks out of the year to vacate work. And we have to cram all of a year's worth of "relaxation" into 14 days? Yes American Life breathes in its isolation - in the corners of our homes with our doors securely locked against our neighbors and we think we're happy. Do we have to subscribe to a motivational computerized daily/weekly e-mail to remind us that we're human and that we're supposed to actually reach out to a co-worker, neighbor, stranger, even a family member?
Ah - that's our challenge. Force ourselves to stop the frenzied whirlwind. Actually make an effort to even just be nice to the spouse and kids. Enjoy the company of friends and neighbors. Force the kids to go outside to play, to turn off the video games and DVDs, Cook! Discipline ourselves to limit our own time browsing for information, chatting, entertaining ourselves with a keyboard and monitor! Such a blessing and a curse this plethora of information contained in a box getting slimmer and more compact every year! What a blessing to be able to communicate with my entire family spread out all over the States on a regular basis! What a blessing to be able to research necessary topics for kids' homework, to keep a regular record of your own life (journaling is a great thing!), to find your ancestors and feel a deep connection and gratitude for our current life due to those lives spent before my own, to find a new recipe for dinner in 15 minutes for the stuff you have already in your fridge! The trick is not to let it catch you! To suck you in and let yourself get hooked. So easy to lose your self control with the excuse that it's all for a good cause...and maybe I just need a little fun on the side. Who's to know anyway? The tempter's snare has caught how many of us?
Computer relationships taking place of human relationships? Ah, much too easy to fall into. It is becoming the American way. Self discipline to be a real human.
Interesting thought.
Rather sad.
Rather live in 1838?
No thank you.
I'll spout anonymously out there to those who are just plain bored or curious and need a dose of their own "voyerism". And to those who know me - you know that I'm just full of it, for better or for worse.
As ever -
Yours truly

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

I really did have a thought hit me

Not too badly - just with a soft sigh.
My fire is still on Ember status.
But as I was browsing Blogs (it's kinda fun just to hit the "Next Blog" button - ya never know what you're gonna find), and I realized that I think the addiction (to blogging) is how well we can relate to others' pure realities. It's refreshing to read Real stories, and you can be straight-up because you have the protection of anonymity, (unless you let others know who you are). But I just had one of those moments of "I know what you mean! That's me too!" and it's a complete stranger. It's also an eye-opener of what human nature is.
It's the thought that counts.
What a man thinketh, so is he.
Negativity.
Positivity.
Wouldn't a Pessimist think that everyone else is Negative?
Is an Optimist always forgiving?
Thoughts hit me gently and I let them roll on without bothering to delve too deeply.
I'd like to sleep rather than spin.
Sigh.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Low Energy Day

So I sat here for 5 minutes trying to figure out what to write... I'm more in response mode than create mode today. But I am letting guilt spur me on - I can't wait for the update from the sisters, so I'd at least write since it's been longer that I haven't written. Probably because I've used up my writing finesse in responding to theirs. And oh, yeah! I was out of town for most of last week! So I guess I can catch it all up now...
Last week went to a training to learn how to crunch numbers and filter out unnecessary numbers, and then how to figure out which was which. Yes, major brain stuffing - too tired to really go and play. Too tired to complain about the sliding door that gapped 1/2" onto the miniature deck of my 12th floor room. But I did write up a book on the small "How are we doing?" form about the registrar who could care less if I was a rabid people eating alien, or just a nice little lost girl as long as he cleared me off of his desk as quickly as possible, reminding me of all of the fees for everything there. I might as well have paid the extra few dollars and stayed at the hotel down the street where my training was. Nope - I wasn't impressed.
BUT! I did find myself in the middle of the Stampin' UP! Annual Convention!!!!! Everywhere I turned ladies with multitudes of cards, pins, stamped up gift ideas carried in over-sized shoulder bags. It was AWESOME!!! There is no other group that I feel so comfortable striking up a conversation and being able to carry it past the obligatory, "Where are you from?" In fact, I can't think of any other strangers I'd even dare say more than "Hi!" to! I even got myself invited to eat dinner with a trio of Stampers as I was walking on my way to be lonely again at meal time. One part of company traveling that I really enjoy is eating out on the company dollar - and finding a good place. (I did sacrifice my intention of going to the Macaroni Grill for Mexicana to eat with company...well worth it!) I found a place that served Mediterranean and I had the best Red Pepper Hummus I've ever tasted!!! And thought of Ber when I read that there is weekly Live Poetry readings. Found out later it was the upstairs of a saloon. (All of you who know where I work will get the irony of that...) ;)
Got home and enjoyed time with the Big Boy. Decided to stay home from Rock Climbing on Saturday because of all the catching up I had to do at the house (no, it's still not done!) - and it's a good thing I did! The "Smaller" Boys called to say they would be home at about 1. 1 on the dot and they came through the door!!! I've loved the Hugs I'm still getting every time they pass by or the little waive of a hand at least, if not even a peck on the cheek. And J bought me and his daddy little souvenirs with his own money (license plate tags for your keychain that have our names on them!). What a sweet, thoughtful little guy!
But interestingly enough - my nice Big Boy has decided it's his cyclical time to forget being positive and it's okay to vent all frustrations and in general just be poopy and tell me I'm the one who's being poopy. Go figure. So I did a reality check this morning and decided - I do have room for improvement, (like attitude and being nice and not pouty and saucy). But! That does not mean I have to take just shut up and not express my side of the story - I just have to be nice and compassionate about it while I do it. So I tried figuring out how to do that and I think I've got a pretty good idea on it - now it's just getting the guts to bring it up 'cause I really don't want to fight about it, (Not enough energy) rather than just letting the subject drop until the sore spot arises yet again. This is what happens in the Red/Blue, Blue/Red relationship... lovely emotional drama on one side or the other.
And then!! The power bill is SO atrociously high it's sick!!! And so would we all be if we didn't have A/C!! We've had rain to contribute to the cause (thank Heavens!), but it just adds a muggy stickiness rather than the just plain, melting. I don't know how ya'll over the Southern way can stand it! I finally had the car washed and it hasn't even rained yet on it - just the bird deciding my clean windshield was the perfect place to dump. I laughed at that one. It's just the irony of it all - do birds prefer a clean target to a dirty one? (Not a ton of trees or lines in St G to park under...)
And I can't wait to visit Portland!!!!
And I'm trying to figure out why I am SO short on fundage lately? It doesn't seem like we're spending more than normal! But I really don't want to look at it closely enough, because I know I'm the culprit. It's the proverbial Ostrich syndrome (stick my head in the sand). (Mom's got the perfect facial expression for this - the one where she curls one side of her upper lip and grumbles under her breath with little other facial movement, well- maybe an eyeball roll, but not much of one. Ya know - it says, "I'm not happy with the situation, but there's nothing I can really do about it except grumble so I'll deal with the situation, I'll just grumble while I do it".)
K.
Enough.
I'd really just love to curl up into my book (I'm actually yielding and reading a "popular book" - the Da Vinci code...). I'll let you know what I think of it when I'm done. I'm always cynical about something that becomes so popular, (unless I liked it first before it became popular).
Alrighty - until later!

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Uhhh - I forgot!

Had a great title yesterday - and even better yet! Something to say. But now it's today - and there goes that thought!!!! Sandman/Father Time took it. What's with those character's being male anyway?
So? New stuff? Started a new diet Monday (mostly just to be healthy, but it would be really nice to fit back into my britches from only 6 months ago!!), and then busted my butt in the Spinning (stationary bike) class - combination of which made me puke after. Sad day. But I felt much better afterwards. And the diet thing is going well - I'm amazed I've had the self control to pass up some of favorite goodies that last 2 days!!! Boy, how I do crave sugar! Mmhmm! I luuuv it! K! Gotta side-track myself! It has been a royal pain to put it all together; the food prep's a real deal killer for having good, healthy food on a regular basis! And I know being a stay-at-home momma wouldn't make too much of a difference for me, because I'd be so busy doing so many other things! Ah, well - I'm just trying how to recruit help from my biggest "boy" and do it in a fun happy way instead of my typical fuss and throw a martyr-fit because I'm doing this ALL by myself like I have been. Gotta attract the bees with honey! Anybody got any bright ideas on how to accomplish that? I just know he's tired and tuckered out (like me), and he's definitely not the kitchen kind of guy (darn that! I forgot to put that on my Man Wanted list!!!).
K! Gotta run! Stamp party tonight to pay me back for all my hard work - stinks I really have no $$ to play with at all. Worse than stinks - but that's how life is!
Life. Yup.
Go to!

Uhhh - I forgot!

Had a great title yesterday - and even better yet! Something to say. But now it's today - and there goes that thought!!!! Sandman/Father Time took it. What's with those character's being male anyway?
So? New stuff? Started a new diet Monday (mostly just to be healthy, but it would be really nice to fit back into my britches from only 6 months ago!!), and then busted my butt in the Spinning (stationary bike) class - combination of which made me puke after. Sad day. But I felt much better afterwards. And the diet thing is going well - I'm amazed I've had the self control to pass up some of favorite goodies that last 2 days!!! Boy, how I do crave sugar! Mmhmm! I luuuv it! K! Gotta side-track myself! It has been a royal pain to put it all together; the food prep's a real deal killer for having good, healthy food on a regular basis! And I know being a stay-at-home momma wouldn't make too much of a difference for me, because I'd be so busy doing so many other things! Ah, well - I'm just trying how to recruit help from my biggest "boy" and do it in a fun happy way instead of my typical fuss and throw a martyr-fit because I'm doing this ALL by myself like I have been. Gotta attract the bees with honey! Anybody got any bright ideas on how to accomplish that? I just know he's tired and tuckered out (like me), and he's definitely not the kitchen kind of guy (darn that! I forgot to put that on my Man Wanted list!!!).
K! Gotta run! Stamp party tonight to pay me back for all my hard work - stinks I really have no $$ to play with at all. Worse than stinks - but that's how life is!
Life. Yup.
Go to!

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Whirlwind

Friday the 1st ended with an Awesome Firecracker Bang!!!!
(By the way - did I mention in my last note that the boys are in Colorado Springs? Their friends that moved there in Dec. asked if they could come and swipe the boys for a little while during the summer - and the timing worked out perfect to cover for camp. Getting them back here is just a "whenever" thing - it looks like it may even be til the last week of the month! So far the kids have just said, "Yes, Mom we miss you - we don't want to come home." I'm glad they're having fun in a good environment. They're helping with chores and other things and I'm told they're behaving quite nicely. Yea!!! St's been missing them a lot though, he's asked every day for the last 4 days if they've called yet and why they didn't call him on his cell phone! That's cute!)
So I'm ready to leave for work - and St calls me and wants to make sure I'll be there so he can come and see me. Atypical request, but I don't think much about it. He shows up and asks if I notice anything different about him. Uh.... Straight pants today because I didn't pick up the laundry again? (Well, he's smiling so that's not it...and he's standing up really straight!) You got made Sergeant? "How'd you guess?" Really??? REALLY??? YE-EEEES!!! Chief called him in at the end of the day and informed St that someone in higher ranks resigned which opened up spots along the way - and they wanted St to fill in the spot for Sergeant over the motors - starting immediately!!!!!!! He got his badge right then and there!!! WOW!!! We really didn't think that it would happen until the end of the year at the soonest!!! If he'd've been promoted during the last whirlwind of hires a few weeks ago, he wouldn't have gotten the Motors spot! This is his Ideal Position right now!!! We're so excited! So Saturday he finished out his Patrol duties and Sunday we set up his office. Then Monday he got to start his new shift - Back to Normalcy!!!! M-F 8-4!!! So many good things about this!!! Social life in the evenings, work out together in the evenings, Family Home Evenings, *Availability to go to Church*!!! So Good!!! Heavenly Father just likes to help us learn patience and faith and that if we keep plugging away with doing the right thing, the blessings will follow! If He sees we're trying to do our part to keep the commandments, He'll open doors to help us do so when it seems almost impossible!
WOW!
Then yesterday was quite fun! We had an impromptu party at our place for the 4th! St's friends that he rides motorcycles with didn't have plans so we decided we'd have a BBQ at our place - so one of the girlfriend's and I went shopping and spent the afternoon doing all the food and then everyone came over and we ate and watched fireworks (and the fires that got set on the grounds the fireworks even after wetting all the grounds down prior!) from the balcony. It was quite enjoyable, I think everyone had a good time. We missed the boys, though - but we know they're having fun.
Tonight, St is giving a presentation to the Scouts in our ward, then he's helping me do a slideshow of all the Camp Pictures for the girls tonight...we'll also give out the rest of the awards for those that had to leave early, as well as the left-over goodies. Tomorrow I just remembered I have a hair apt and am disappointed I'll miss Cuz Shari driving through town, unless she stops by later. Friday night we'll watch some movies with some friends and Saturday is my work Summer Party that St can go to now! I am SO excited to have him on my schedule again! That, to me, is even better than the pay raise (which isn't too much anyway!).
Life is good. We are rich with many blessings!